Here comes again the season of love. The time to be mushy. The time to enkindle the flame of love.
It is a time to re-discover the meaning of love among our loved ones.
But before you can do that, you have to love yourself. This is perhaps something that was never thought to us clearly by the spiritual gurus- or maybe we misinterpreted it.
We need to have an amount of self-love to be able to give it to another. Not that we should be selfish and stop thinking of others. Rather, we should give importance to our welfare – externally and internally.
While everyone turns into some hopeless romantic, let us stop and think how we treat ourselves so that we can love others better.
1. Give yourself a treat
Do not wait for anyone to do this to you. Go out of your way to give yourself one. Something mundane yet detoxifying the body and soul. Something to lighten up the stress in you.
- Watch a movie – pick something light but heart-warming.
- Go to a spa – detoxify your body and relax
- Visit the museum – Forget about work and worries, find something beautiful out there and appreciate art and life
A small treat for oneself is like a gift that is valuable because of the thought rather than the cost.
2. Cheer up
Find something funny, happy or amusing. Don’t dwell on too much of drama. Avoid soaps. Make people happy.
- Watch that sitcom you’ve always wanted to see but did not have time to
- Infest with a smile and start cheering up your environment
- Share or spread a clean joke (nothing political or biased)
Make a disposition for yourself and others to be happy.
3. Read a book
Feed your intellect with something to stir interest or thought. No need to buy a new book. There’s one or two out there in your room covered with dust and unread. Pick it up and get your creative mind alive.
- Pick up a book you never finished and give it another chance. See if you still have a way to salvage it. Try the reflective reading- spend 10-15 minutes a day reading it. Perhaps you can pick up something out of it.
- Write notes on what you have learned about the book and share it to another person.
- Practice what you learned in your own little way.
Reading a book stirs your mind as well as your heart. It feeds you with thought and even emotions that create ideas and inspirations.
4. Forgive yourself
What is it that comes to your mind every now and then and still haunts you because you think it was your fault? Forgiveness is not only given to someone who did us wrong. We can also give it to ourselves when we blame ourselves about an event in the past.
Make a step to forgive yourself.
- Talk to someone about it and seek some other point of view. Listen to what others think of the situation.
- Think and reflect about the things that haunt you- not too much. If there was a fault from your part, make up for it if you can and if not, find another way to make it up. If it was not any of your fault, then forget about it and move on.
- Forgiving is not necessarily forgetting. Find things to keep your mind and heart busy and away from things that destroy your good vibes.
The hardest thing to do is forgiving oneself because we do not want to be too soft on ourselves.
5. Let go of resentment
It may still be in your head floating. These are the things that you should have done and shouldn’t have done. The things that your friend, spouse or partner did to you. The way people treated you in the past. Do you have a lot of resentment baggage inside of you?
- Pray for healing. Wish for recovery. Put your mind and heart into letting go.
- Put a closure to these resentments. Talk it out with the people involved if necessary. The least that could be done if discussing the past will trigger more negative energy, is just showing you have forgiven and better if so, forgotten.
Resentment occupies our minds like a bug or a pest at home. We need to make a move to extinguish it or else it will destroy our inner self.
6. Get connected in real life
Do not be caught by the gadgets around you. Don’t lose yourself in the clutter of social networking. You may find yourself one day alone and empty in spite of the many ‘friends’ online.
Talk to your family and friends. Be connected in real terms and not be satisfied with keeping in touch online.
- Be interested in the activities of your family. Ask what’s going on or what’s happening to them. When was the last time you took interest in this and talked about it at length?
- Call a long-lost friend and connect again. Find time to meet up or at least talk on the phone and catch up.
- Arrange a trip to see your family and old friends.
The best way to talk to those important to us like our family is- face-to-face, eye-to-eye and even shoulder-to-shoulder. It’s a real time, real life and real sensible communication.
Don’t get yourself buried with a lot of work or chores. Don’t say ‘I do not have time’. Even if you are the home buddy type, it is important to go out and meet other people.
We gotta fight for our right to party! A few days ago, I found a post from Life of Dad Facebook fan page about this song from Beastie Boys and how dads should be singing this anthem. I could relate to it.
When we reach a certain point in our life- such as becoming parents- we tend to be too preoccupied and prioritize. Partying and clubbing is definitely not one of them.
However, you might have to re-think. Getting out and having some fun is a way to ‘sharpen your saw’ and re-charge your energy.
Go out and socialize moderately.
Celebrate and party with others even if you do not like partying. It shows you care. It shows you are human.
8. Have a special date
Go out with the most important person in your life. If your partner finds that it is too mushy or that there is not time for it, then insist. Find a way to make this happen.
This time, love yourself.
When people do mushy things, it must be love.
Nurture your inner self by giving away things that you do not need. Even exceed that by giving something to help someone in need. Find a cause that you can spend your money or time with on a regular basis. You can start it now.
The spiritual part of our being always calls us to do something worthwhile and make a difference.
Reach the higher levels of yourself by doing something good for another.
Find time to help someone – a friend or a family member- change. Spend time with him to talk and be comfortable with you. Be the person to go to.
What the world needs are people who can understand and not judge.
Your Valentine’s Plan
So what’s your plan this Valentine’s Day (or week)? Before you start thinking of what to give to others, put it in a different perspective by asking yourself- what can I give myself so that I can love better?
PHOTO CREDIT: SuperFantastic